Archive for February, 2011

The flan discovery

There was one Friday night, way into Saturday morning that I discovered the most delectable, melt in your mouth custard cake in one of the kiosk at Banchetto.  Unfortunately our love affair lasted but only two Fridays and this delightful find was no more. So I sought in most bakeshop and even the kiosks that appeared every Friday if they have this but no custard can be had. Until my search led me to try Red Ribbon’s leche flan roll. They were advertising it as a soft, moist white chiffon with creamy leche flan filling topped with melt-in-your mouth leche flan icing and caramel syrup.  Since I am not really a Red Ribbon fan, I was somewhat dubious about this but my craving for custard cake egged me to buy half a roll. Man was I glad that I gave in because the cake lived up to its promise. Not only was it soft and moist, the roll in itself was not sweet and the icing was just as delectable. I cannot seem to get enough, I had another slice and even finished even the icing. It was a notch up for Red Ribbon in my books.

To flaxseed or not to flaxseed

Usually when we buy SkyFlakes we buy the regular one but look for the ones that look burnt at the bottom because for me and my bro, the burnt part give these saltine crackers some character. Anyhow, when we went on a diet (or on a somewhat diet) we began to buy the SkyFlakes Fit-Oat Fiber but ignored the other one. But by mistake while doing our groceries, we took the SkyFlakes Fit – Flaxseed.  Since we bought it, we thought what the heck just eat it. This tasted like pizza except that it was a cracker. My brother tried it with peanut butter since this always tasted good with SkyFlakes but the two did not jibe. One time I tried putting some cream cheese and soon enough I have the cheapest but scrumptious treat ever.

New York Fries anyone?

New York fries are not cheap mind you but I can forgo having that and get a McDonald’s fries instead, lesser the price but only has salt as dip or ketchup. But if you are after the dip especially if you are after the herbal spicy taste of a dip, instead of finding the nearest New York fries kiosk, try a cheaper alternative – Wendy’s fries and a side order of a ranch dressing. You wont go wrong with this, I promise.

J’adore Tuna Salad Croissant

If you have not tried it yet, one of the best if not the best tuna salad concoction that does not overwhelm you with too much mayo or turn you off with a fishy smell is the Dunkin Donut tuna salad croissant. It is very simple in its presentation because the cold tuna salad just gets sandwiched inside a croissant that you will be left thinking if it is even worth buying, especially now DD increased its price from P50 to P64? Yes, the croissant is soft in the inside and crunchy on the outside while the tuna salad mixture has just the right zest, mayo, salt and a hint of sugar. The tuna is cooked well that it does not give off a fishy odor. When you take a bite, the combination of the salty softness of the croissant doubled with the sweet tangy sour taste of the mayo makes the experience worth savoring. You just want to take one bite after another. Trinoma branch unfortunately phased out this product maybe because not all of their patrons have tried this mouthwatering sandwich and thus no takers.

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In my 36 years of existence, you may say I have been through a lot. There was the time when my supposedly aunt made life so miserable for us that it divided our relatives apart. It was something like one of the telenovelas on the boobtube. She would only prepare sardines for meal times so I would not eat  or fill the washing machine with clothes so I would have to hand wash our clothes. She would tell other people that my former boyfriend duped me into giving him all my money. She would tell lies about how unhelpful I was with the finances, that I hide foods from her and her children. She even brought me and mom apart, but my mom saw through her eventually. Lucky enough at that time, I found thru Friendster my new home.

Then my former boyfriend brought havoc to my professional life after I got him a job. He told everyone how vindictive I am because I always tried to ruin his career growth. It was the longest debacle ever because we stayed in our respective jobs. It took two years almost before people started to see that I was the victim and he was the wolf in sheep’s clothing. Things began to spiral down for him while things began to look brighter for me.  But because he felt still I was the one causing him to lose one opportunity after the other, it was always surreal when he and I share the same breathing space. of course there are no more dark looks or deathly sparks that pass between us, just an unwanted presence that can be easily swatted away.

So when I went out with my former HS classmates now long time friends, I just learned that the green pasture I so longingly hope for was the one I am still on. The stories about my other classmates were sad. One already got a divorce from one guy and then had a baby with another guy who she did not end up with. She also inherited the responsibility of looking after her cousins because they were dumped on her. Another who despite being the same age as me do not live her own life. She is being dictated on by her parents, she had to give up her life and dreams when she was young and till now she is being looked down on the moment she says she wants to sing. Then there is another one who lives out of her means and lives off her someone else’s money while raising four children. The last story I heard was the most heartbreaking because she never got out of the rut, she comes out of one problem to just get stuck in another problem. Her situation gets worse and worse and now she does not know how to get out of it. Hearing them makes me feel very lucky and grateful, though there are some things I do not mind having,  my life compared to theirs is a wonderful one.

Yes we do tend to think that someone else’s life is better because we live our lives and we do not like it sometimes or think that nothing has become of all our hard work . Until we are shown the truth about those we thought were doing great and then we come to accept that the life we have is alright. We just need to work hard to making it a lot less complicated and serene by learning from past mistakes and moving forward. ;P

I am such a procrastinator, I have yet to lose an iota of a pound. Fine I have been just eating sandwiches in the office and have limited my chocolate/sweets intake. But I have not been able to keep my date with Tony Horton. I have not been able to just do the work. There was always this lame ass excuse that after waking up I will do it. Except I do not. Instead I put it off for the next day and then the next day just become another day until an entire week has gone by with me doing no exercises. ~Sigh.

I envy those who can just work out and get high just working out. So envious of the discipline that they have to either hit the gym or put on their running shoes to sweat out the calories. Instead I procrastinate and just try to squeeze my thunder thighs and ginormous tush in a tight slacks. I frown at the various levels of flab that gather on top of the waist band of the pants. I hate looking so enormous like some round ball fitted inside a tube of paste with all the seams loosening. Yet despite my hatred for getting bigger, I cannot for the life of me find the strength to just work out. I say I am tired or too sleepy. Since last week, my new excuse has been I am sick <wheeze> <hacking cough> although it really is not as bad as it sound.

So I trudge the road of procrastination once again, if I do not get the energy to lose weight then I have to just accept my flab in all its cottage cheese look glory (or better yet gory). Of course this does not mean I wave the white flag of surrender. I have once lost 35 pounds in two weeks and I will do so again, this time double the time I invested in losing weight way back when. I resolve to determine the root cause of this animosity with performing the routines, once I do maybe I can finally win one over the undisputed triumph of the bulge since 2005.

 

I may not be lucky in terms of finding love but so far my luck is good when it comes to finding friends. At my current work, it is very tricky to know who your true friends are and who are not. Usually they do not take the time to know you, they just judge or outright accuse you of being a cheater or of questionable character. I do not hobnob with them anymore nor do I even try to make them hear me. I already got the “here we go again, has this not ended yet?” kind of retort. Of course they have their own problems but they expect you to hear them out, which does not altogether mean they should hear you out. Another is the only rather dense type whose intelligence is always out the window yet would contradict you at every turn. She means well but her mindless explanation to a non-issue is baffling to the point of wanting to bash her head to the wall just so she would stop yakking.

So I am glad that during high school I managed to make friends who are for keeps. But during my adult stage, I am pretty happy to have met and found the rare gems in Options.  Aldwin was my former Managing Editor, who turned out to be such a talented and generous friend. He makes it a point to be there for his needy friends and gives nonstop to his family. But for me, he is my rock who listens to my pain and then makes me laugh afterwards. He has his own pain and yet takes the time to be console a friend. Despite knowing what my misdeeds were, he never judged nor preached. He just smile his toothy smile and allow me to find the humor in things however serious the actual situation is.

Fids was our former bookkeeper. She and I are both Taurus but despite this we are very different. She is intelligent but not in love and she can be easily swayed. She does not know what career path to follow. But what she lacks in maturity, she more than makes up by standing up for you and fighting with you even if you are the one at fault. She does not leave you behind.

Meeko, the youngest in the group and also the only one married, is the prettiest spitfire. She bakes the yummiest brownies and she can foretell your future. But do not let her age fool you. She is the very protective mother of the group. She hits on the one giving you a hard time and she comes to your defense even when you do not ask for it. She fights your fight and backs you up.

These three despite my flaws and imperfections never faltered in their faith on me. They listen quietly when I need to talk and give me counsel when and only if I ask it. They never judge nor think ill of me and they always look after me even when I am safely home. I feel safe when I am with them. I can be myself and they would respect me for that. I would bitch and they would find humor in it. I would cry and they would offer their shoulders for me to cry on. They are an intelligent bunch who will know when I am making something up yet cheer me on if I am on the right path. They are always there when I need them and despite the distance, a text or a call would suffice and we know we are still connected. This is the type of friendship that do not ask for anything in exchange, never doubt but remain believing.

I am not a sociable person but if I say you have a friend in me, it means no matter what I will be there for you. But if you lose me, there is no second chance. There is no gaining back the trust. That is why the ones I know who are for keeps I remain grateful to God to have been given the chance to have met them.

Honestly I am tired of trying to understand why you think you are up one on me when you are basically a nobody. I tried to explain my side but you gave me the holier than thou snub. It is not as if we are even friends that you think I am trying to make peace with you. It is not as if you give me money to live on. It was because I wanted to educate you foolish one how utterly wrong you are in believing in your wishy-washy leader that I lack integrity.

I am by nature unsociable but it does not mean that my integrity had to be questioned by one so ordinary. We are not even equal in my eyes. But I was raised right by my parents. I never look down on people except when they deserve it, like you do now. I extended my hand of friendship and yet you look as if I stung you. I do not even have to honor you with an explanation because there was really nothing to explain. But you continue to black ball me and use your position to pick on my team. Though I can retaliate so easily I chose not to. Though I can lash out with sarcasm, I chose to keep it under wraps. I kept my cool because I know that your stubbornness stems from stupidity, that your ego had been pumped high up by lies.

Today was the last time I will ever attempt again to humble myself on someone who is not even worth my time of day.

The battle of the bulges

Posted: February 6, 2011 in My World in 4D

Honestly ever since I was thin reed, I never considered myself as thin. I always had the thunder thighs, excess flab on my tummy and ginormous arms. For me I never was thin even when the scale shows I am. At 96 pounds way back in college I felt huge still until I started working and the thin me became super huge. Gone were the size 25 jeans and my thunder thighs, arms and tummy became so prominent even the tent dress I used to wore did not hide them well. The only time this became more pronounced was when I was sitting on the sand in a beach somewhere in Davao and a picture was taken. Round as a ball, so very, very round that I only need to be tipped over and I will roll till the ends of the earth. Of course I exaggerate but from then on I told myself I will lose the weight I put on.

I tried Bangkok pills, Slimmers World, Belo diet pills, the Tomato soup diet and whatever is the fad that time. Until I discovered Breathe Thin. I lost 35 pounds in one month and I was thin. I did not develop any abs or muscles but I became thin and I remained as such until, well four years ago when I became part of the outsourcing industry and my body clock had to adjust to a different time frame. The procrastinator that I am put off exercising until I am nearly back to the rounded shape I was before. I am now 135 lbs heavy and the bulging belly is back with a vengeance. I could no longer fit in the clothes I used to wear and now even the new ones I just bought seemed to be smaller. Now it is not because I am big that I want to be small, but my ill proportioned body does not allow me to look good on clothes that are supposed to fit me. If the jeans can fit all the way to my hips then it is either too big for my waist or too tight on my thighs. So I need to lose the weight so I can wear the clothes I want to wear.

Start of the year, I pulled myself together and made an agenda for myself and a target weight loss per week. I had gotten in touch as well with a good friend from high school, Lani, who agreed that we will be virtual diet buddies. There were no rice nor sweets allowed in my rather restricted diet. It was full on vegetables, fruits and some chicken regimen. Despite the big toll on my limited budget I swore to myself that in the long run, this will help me save more since I need not buy from the fast foods anymore. I wanted to focus on my diet and limit my trips outside the office. So that would entail a lot of discipline and a smart schedule for me to pull off the exercise routine and the food regimen. But there are hurdles along the way, apart from my procrastination and quick to alibi personality, my brother stays home (meaning I have to put off working out and making sure he has food), my work asked for more time (meaning I stay in the office till after 9am or I bring home the work) and my mom was here (meaning I will be awake most of the time because she makes a lot of noise and I am a light sleeper, I need to accompany her somewhere or I have to wait up for her). During the entire course of my month long battle with the bulge, I lose on technicality. My mind tells me I must but my body is too exhausted to even exert an effort.

Now this coming week, week 2 of February that is I must go on back the saddle and try to be a good student of Tony. I will work the work and eat the right way. Funny thing is I do not eat a lot at all, yet my metabolism does not go as fast as I hope. Either my metabolism is dead or it needs to be restarted just so my body would remember what it actually does. I do hope that before my birthday or even before the official day of summer starts I have lost at least 10 pounds. I know I have set my mind on a 1 pound a week loss, still I can always do better and hit 1.5. Maybe, I can finally look better in a pair of jeans without the worry of having a camel’s toe peeping thru. I did promise myself a trench coat and a good pair of boots as prize. 🙂

So let the battle of the bulge begin anew! Here is to my victory!!!