Archive for January, 2014

My good friend, Lisa, told me once that I do not need to win any awards as TL Hero of the Year or Best TL when I complained once that I never get those recognition and felt down that I never get noticed. She added that my agents appreciation of what I do for them and the additional tasks given me by my boss are enough proofs that I mattered, it may not be the recognition I seek but having my agents’ respect and love cannot be had any other person. I did not understand it then so I was inconsolable, I acted like a child who didn’t get her Christmas present from Santa.

Months later when I finally tendered my resignation and gave each of my babies a personal handwritten letter, I felt the overwhelming love they have for me. Even those who are no longer part of the campaign I was with made me feel so precious. Bryan told me that seeing me in my cluster made him feel at ease because for him I symbolize stability so it would feel really different now that I wont be there anymore. Gab felt sad when he found out, he cannot believe that I was leaving. He told me he wont have anyone to ask about things anymore. Em, Maneth and Grapes all posted in FB how they hated that I was leaving, that I had to give them a letter while I was on leave to deliver the news. They along with OM and Edison cried.

When I started with the company I did not know that I would be having this type of connection with people. I have always been shy and thus aloof. I had a feeling that I alienated people because of my bitchy attitude. I thought wrong. I did not only receive the best award that can ever be given, I received as well the best gift ever bestowed to anyone. I mattered, I made a difference and I got all the love in the world. My boss Logan even apologized, he said that he is sorry that they failed me. Things were very chaotic and just when things were being fixed, they already lost me. Shane and Ian also called, both managers gave me a nice farewell message. Lisa was right afterall, this was better than the QA award because no one else can claim this save for me.

Em’s initial photo collage

Big bouquet. I never had one even from past flames but Edison remembered and he got my the biggest bouquet of all.

Agua’s love letter

Joe’s, he didnt have to but he did.

My darling team, Dimension

From Tonio, my original SME

Wonderful comments

Dexie’s ode to me

Big guy Dy

Em’s post anew

Cherie’s take of the “drama”

The boss and her not so simple message

Yuki’s way

And I finally bid adieu through my version of a swan song….

Mother B swan song

I have finally made up my mind. I will take that risk of exploring the unknown and the world of the unemployed. I know that my future may not be as bright as it should be when I was younger  but this time around I know I am ready to get out. I have been having a lot of misgivings about my work, for one thing the lackluster way I go about it day in and day out. There was no more drive in me. All the things that I do have become mechanical. There was no longer any love put into it. I tried to go and take a lot of time off, maybe I needed a different scene. But it did not work.  My restlessness grew until I began to drag myself to work. I cried each night on my way to work. I hated it. I was depressed and fought it off with more than 12 hours of sleep during weekends. I was tired and moodier than usual. I thought maybe if I go back  to school I will get my groove back. But three sems later, the restlessness continued, the tears flowed and the depression lingered.

I took a long hard look at the career path I lead and when the client told us he would be leaving the company he dearly loved, I knew it was time for me to do the same. I needed to go and find my drive anew. My agents, my babies the past year have grown dear to me  but they have all toddled on to reach the top. My work is done, I managed to make them top performers and regardless of the lousy KPI I get monthly, i know that I have done my best not only for my team but the entire campaign as well.

I know I would not have become who I am today without this company. I was promoted here and earned notoriety of sorts. I became more social, more adventurous and more patient. It taught me to be critical, analytical and pick my fights. I have a lot to be thankful for. Yet like any relationships, it finally reached a plateau. I became more aware of its faults thus I became very impatient of my own growth. I see unworthy people being promoted, I see lazybums all over, I keep noticing the lack of malasakit of the powers that be towards their employees, even if having malasakit is one of the core values being touted. I got tired of the politics. There were a lot of cowering fools ready to kiss ass. I pity those who worked hard but never got anywhere because they kept their mouths away from those asses. I was slowly falling out of love and becoming ungrateful to this apple green infinity organization. That is not who I am, so before I continue with my downward spiral, I tendered my resignation and nipped the growing dark side of me in the bud.

It has been 7 and a half years ago when I first set eyes in the world of the immortals. I have survived storms, floods, bomb threats and a killer psycho former boyfriend. It was not an easy decision to make. I already marked my territory here. But it is not enough anymore. I wanted out so come the 15th of this month, I will say goodbye to Garnet now Pasig site because it finally dawned on me that it has stopped being my comfort zone years ago.

I have neglected my little piece of  heaven for the longest time so when I took on the challenge of being a weekend warrior, I never thought such a small space can accumulate so much stuff. But stuff did pile up and armed with my trusty face mask, I pulled and pushed big and small pieces of furniture to one side of my condo so I can play in my mind how to carry out the new lay out. Actually there is only much that I can move, the biggest one in the room would not budge. The two-faced cabinet remained at its place but was given some brushing off of dusts. My brother’s comic books were given some wiping. I mention some because it needs another day just to go through all the shelves and be rid of most of its contents.

While doing the heavy lifting, I discovered our long lost DVD remote control. It was just where the DVD was, and to think I had to endure the long playing DVD disc just to get to the part I needed to get to. Well lesson learned, never put off major clean ups. Spring cleaning should be part of my agenda at least every quarter or mid year knowing how lazy I am. So now I find that I do have a lot of space left even with the new table and chair. I can actually roll towards the kitchen and back again to the table without so much a hiccup.

Now, with some days free after my resignation, my next pet project would be some major wall scrubbing and wall prepping for a new paint. I plan to do some wall doodling to make my walls more interactive and special. Then do some purchases of new storage and linens especially curtains. I have another project in mind, maybe soon I can find a good contractor who can build me a walk in closet and install tiles to replace the vinyl on my floors.

Something like this for m walls.

Something like this for m walls.

These projects plus my Italy vacation with my family should be in the works too this year.

One of these days, Id bring my family for a vacation here.

One of these days, Id bring my family for a vacation here.

Simply cannot wait.