40 Days to 40

Posted: March 22, 2014 in My World in 4D

So the countdown to begin a new decade in my book of life begins tonight. As I write this, I began my journey back. There were a lot of slips, falls, idiocy, misadventures but there are a lot of good stuff too. In the end of it all there are things that I wish I did not do and there are things I wish I did. 40 days to 40, my oh my indeed.

My life is not a bed full of roses but heck whose life is? It took me a long time to graduate in college and figure out what I want to do with my life after. I coasted from one job to the next without any clear vision. I liked teaching but I made a wrong decision somewhere in the middle. I thought perhaps I am better off having my own business which unfortunately did not pan out. The resulting relationship that came with that failure of a business was one big mess too. Apparently my business acumen and decision making skills were deplorable to say the least.

So in my 30s I allowed life to pass me by. I got fat. I stayed single. I procrastinated. I sulked. I had a fling. I became lazier.  Then something clicked in the far recesses of my mind to stop being such a sour puss and find my way back. My parents did not pass on intellect if I would just allow my grey matter to wither.  I need to do something asap.

It took some time but I gathered enough courage to finally quit my job. As stable as it was, I was no longer happy with the way things were at work. The company simply do not have the values I longed for. I remain unemployed right now although I am very taken with the home base editing I recently started.  The accumulated fats over the last decade will not melt away over night, still I am hellbent in having a trimmer version of me. I  begun to work out at about the same hour daily. I stopped being envious of the marital bliss other people have. I know my friends all have their own families, even my former students are getting married or engaged and having babies left and right. But that was not my fate. There is no prince charming who’d come rescue me from the evil slump I placed myself in.

There are still a lot of kinks here and there I need to fix. But in 40 days before I turn 40 I sure as hell will make a go to actually living again, who knows life may just turn around for me eventually.

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