Archive for December, 2015

Tweeny 6 Teen

Posted: December 31, 2015 in My World in 4D

Today is the last day of the year. It has been very turbulent. Most of the time it was spent crying and losing myself. I never thought I can be so disoriented by daily bombardment of questionable leadership, office politics and gossip mongers. Me, who value personal time by sleeping, watching TV and the like. Me, who does not dabble in idle gossip nor gravitate towards other people’s drama got sucked in an abyss of mental torture.

So 2015 was filled with angst, resentment, lies, betrayal, anger and other emotional upheaval. I am saying goodbye to that. No more. I refuse to take part in someone else’s idea of a wild party. None of that now.

As the sun kisses the clouds goodbye, I too will bid adieu to those who made my life this year very tumultuous. I will let go of that hate and just forgive. I will pay no more heed to rumors and assumptions others have of me. I am done with that. Done with them too. I will do what I do best. I will no longer allow doubt to seep through my mind. I know I can and I know I will.

I look forward to the coming year with new found hope. Better days are coming. Better people will come forth. Fresher and better air to breathe. More travel plans to do, more opportunities to take advantage of.

I am ready for you 2016. Damn it all, you better be ready for me.

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The Cab Ride

Posted: December 28, 2015 in Services Review

I am so old school. I still hail a cab the old fashion way which meant I pray to God that the cab I would hail will have a nice cab driver, sweet smelling interior, un-tampered meter and a working air conditioner.

Well I got that today while on my way back home from my old unit. His name is Cris John Paul who does not want his picture taken because he said he does not want to be famous. But I cannot help myself because I was fascinated with his story so I took a picture of his ID and ran with the story below:

At such a young age, (just 23) he is already a widower. His lived in partner died a week after giving birth to their son. It had been 3 years but he still mourns her death. He said that he promised her that in three months he’d marry her but she succumbed to heart failure. He felt devastated that till now he is not looking for anyone to replace her. His friends told him to move on, he would wave them off saying only if you find someone who looks like Ella, thinks like Ella will I move on. For now his main priority is his son.

He has a degree in automotive which comes in handy whenever his cab would break down. He not only saves his operator thousands of money for towing, he also saves his operator the hassle of getting a mechanic to fix the cab. Cris said, he likes doing what he is doing because he can go around the metro. QC is his main turf though. He knows where the bottleneck is and what shortcut to take during rush hours. He says knowing your territory allows you to earn more in a day compared to when you wait for passengers coming out of the big malls.

His only vice is smoking. When his son was born, he quit drinking. Well there is an occasional beer or two before bedtime when he cant sleep but drinking himself silly is no longer something he does. He prefers to stay home, take care of his son, watch movies using his laptop and yes, smoke. He likes the solitude of being in his room since when he works or rather drives around everything is noisy. So he finds respite in coming home and tuning out the world.

Cris talked about a lot of things like when he was in high school, he tried cutting class and did not like it. He would run out of money because he has to spend it on food, a movie or in the arcade. After a week he just went back to school and stopped cutting class, he said that experiment didn’t fly. At least in school, you kill time by being present in class. He may not participate much but he listened to whatever was being shared by the teacher.

But one thing he’d stay away and wont even dabble in, is taking drugs. It would addle your brain and you’d be left with nothing he added. At least, he said, in smoking your brain wont get fried, your health wont be that compromised. Yes his skin is dry but at least he wont look like a living zombie. None of those bug eyes, shrunken cheeks and rotting teeth. He made sure his cousins would stay away from using drugs by getting them into a stable job at a big firm. They may just be glamorized kargadors but at least it is a decent living.

The almost one hour and a half ride was very entertaining. Cris was a gifted gabber and a good driver. For someone so young, he is quite responsible. He fixed the cab he has been driving for two years, he got his cousins work, he took care of the needs of his son, he imparts wisdom to his friends (he does not share cigarettes nor does he like a tag along, for him if you are earning then you can buy your own cigarette. He said you support your own vice and not rely on other people to finance you.)

If you get a chance to ride in his cab, enjoy the ride and story. I am telling you, it can be a very meaningful journey wherever you’d be heading.

cris

 

Merriam Webster defines emasculate as to make (a man) feel less masculine : to deprive (a man) of his male strength, role, etc. To do this though it could mean I can actually threaten a man’s ego.

This came about when I was talking to one of my male  subordinates and another male subordinate happened to be nearby. For some reason he felt the need to bring up that I was emasculating his fellow team member by raising my voice. Thing was there was no such thing, my voice was tempered but edgy. I was making sure we had that understanding.

Apparently the other guy we shall name Spike felt that I am intimidating with my words. I know he is interested with my mind but to try and downplay my intelligence just to soothe his ego would be something else. If he is not confident in his own machismo then that is his issue to fix. I cannot run my team without the same steam if I would just buckle simply because someone’s male ego gets bruised. I will do everything in my power to drive my team to perform and if through chastisement and an iron hand are what it takes then so be it.

No I am not sorry that I am coming on too strong. I cannot change for one and baby that person. This is not a courting game, this is a business and we need to be all mature and professional about it. Sissies are not allowed, male egos should be put in check when females are calling the shots. I already had that before and I even had a relationship with that man but this one I do not owe any explanations. Either you accept that I am a female and I am your boss or you get out of my kitchen ergo team and find some sap who’d want to stroke your ego.

Today December 15, around 1030AM, I went to Island Photo at the ground floor level of Glorietta because I needed to have a jpeg file printed. The store was being manned  solely by this guy who after having serviced his first customer just went directly to a computer where he began editing a baby picture. There were two people ahead of me, both with numbers on their hands waiting for this guy to pay attention to them.

After patiently waiting, the male customer asked him if the guy was alone. Without even turning, he said yes. So the male customer left because it seemed he wont get the service he needed. The female customer after him looked at me with a puzzled look, so I took that to mean to ask this Island Photo guy if we’d ever get his attention.

I asked “kuya matagal ka pa ba dyan?” Again without stopping whatever he was doing with the baby pic, he said “oo e madami pa to.” So, I confirmed, you can’t attend to us? He said no.

Amazing. He cannot attend to us because he is all alone?  Then why open shop in the first place? Imagine ignoring customers just so they’d go away. What lousy service. I saw how only one crew manned a Goldilocks shop yet even if he was the only one there to wrap, pack, sell, write dedication on the cake, etc he attended to everyone, even simple questions get answered. This I witnessed first hand in two branches at that,  San Juan and Greenfields branch. But here in Island Photo, there was zero customer care. He cannot even face us to tell us he is currently swamped and cannot any more accept any printing requests.

It is not as if he has a lot of foot traffic to begin with at 30 minutes into the store being open. Oh well, I just went to Megamall after my salon appointment to get my printing work done. It is quite a distance from Glorietta but at least I got a far better reception at Fujifilm.

Finding My Way Back Up

Posted: December 14, 2015 in My World in 4D

Dear Lord,

I will be forever grateful for the work that I have. But I kind of need Your guidance. Lately I have not been myself. I do not know why I cannot find a way up from the bottom. It is not even a bottomless pit to begin with but for some reason I am stuck there.

Each day I feel that I am  disinterested, detached, demotivated. I just want to crawl back to bed or remain a couch potato. My brain is no longer buzzing with any ideas. I have nothing but tired energy.  Even when I tell myself during my rest day to think of means to help my team out of the rut, I end up mindlessly flipping from one channel to the next. Nothing seems to function.

I am lost Lord. Please help me find my way up. I do not like this person that I am turning into. A mindless drone who just automatically function just because that is what is expected. One that does not think. One that has just given up. One who is tired and swamped yet does not get anywhere.

I seek solace in you Lord. Help me find myself. Help me get the life back in my limbs, fuel juice in my brain, fill my heart with inspiration…please Lord. I know I am better than this. I cannot let them win and make me this empty.

Please Lord, help me know which way to go, help me find the direction and guide me how I can use the skills and smarts You gave me to deliver what needs to be done and more.

I beseech you Lord.

Amen.

 

Vent and then some rants

Posted: December 4, 2015 in My World in 4D

You know when you have a bad boss when they already form an idea in their heads about you and pick on that until they bleed you dry?

Well I have the misfortune of being under one. One who is not only an insensitive as hell but one who thinks he is rather smart. Like what happened during our huddle. One of his manager friends asked why is it that during the weekend, surveys fail. Because I have a big mouth I said we had outages during the weekend. My know it all boss said how many out of the surveys that get in were failing due to this? Of course I do not have the number, the exact ones. Then he asked did you do an analysis. Wow, an analysis. When he cannot cough up a decent strategy and would just copy what other managers have in place, he asked an analysis? For real? We are not even going on deep dive. If ever we were, he wouldnt have stupid moves like having a care bay that did not feel caring at all and made the TMs in despair and isolated.

Then his female manager friend said I was giving excuses. I was not. Have they tried to pacify TMs who feel like in a dead end when faced with an outage because their customers are cursing them to high heavens when the issues don’t get resolved? Have they tried to come up with more than I am sorry our system is down, I cannot help you call us in so and so hour? Wow. I am not saying the feelings of helplessness is an excuse and nothing else can be done to remedy that. If she was half listening, she would not have automatically shot down my insight. She would have found merit in it. But biases and seeds of doubt planted my evil boss in their heads automatically left me with an unimportant label, ms. lots of excuses.

Well be that as it may, they never really considered the outage. If they check, those with TMs often affected by the outages have a tendency to put their own frustration at not meeting the target onto their customers. The more stressed out they feel, the more they turn on their beast mode. She even had the gall to say that because one of my TMs has not changed, I am bad at coaching. Wow. How very analytical of you. Then by all means, go handle my TM just because you think you are so utterly great at your job.

Managers are supposed to be able to discern well. However I question the intelligence of my own boss. He happens to just be in that position but has no iota of humanity in him. That is why even if he was feeling sick I did not care a bit. He can get sick all he wants and I wouldn’t be bothered. I know he has made other managers see me how he sees me, that is why I no longer exert any effort in proving myself. Why bother? One of the powers that be even had the gall to say I lost my confidence in you. They never even bothered to ask how they can help, they just judge. Oh well, I should have prayed better. I should have been more specific. How utterly riotous that I get someone who is incapable of thinking a strategy and would just be left taking credit for something he did not do.

To be really honest, I no longer feel I am going to get anywhere here. There are people who are just not emotionally intelligent enough to decide on their own which lies or facts to believe in. These managers just listen to my evil boss’ tales of woes and believe it to be true, yes without having to see for themselves.

Again I got nothing to prove to them anymore. I know I have it in me. I know I am good at what I do. I know my own weaknesses as well. I fail to appreciate their stand offish nature when none of them intimidate me enough to make me bow down in reverence. If we talk about lost of confidence in me by them, I would counter with no more respect for any of them at all. They are not good either at their jobs because they have failed to be there for us. The blame game is not a resolution but they seem to think so.

One thing I will do, I will no longer say a word. I will observe and apply what I observe to my team. Since basically sharing anything gets me in hot waters, better not make it boil over. I will take my time, karma will always set things right.

I have had enough of my evil boss and his fellow non-thinkers. I am done with them.

I would try anything new, might look weird and taste bland but if they say it is healthier then sign me up. I didn’t mind it so much and maybe soon my palate would adjust accordingly for me to get used to this. To be honest, it really is not that bad and kind of filling too. As they say, ang dami kong busog. Kudos to our dearest chef du jour Lloyd who often makes our tummies happy and satiated.