The year that was, the year that will be

Posted: December 31, 2016 in My World in 4D

My friend asked me how was your year. I replied dismissively, so-so. Majority did not go as planned but there were a smattering of some good things. She then pointed out how can I lessen the value of having a boyfriend, going to Japan and winning the major prize in our year end party?

Well maybe for one thing the year started with me under performance management under a tyrant former boss, I did not get any increase, a subordinate refuse to help out with the controllable no matter the manner in which I ask, I feel in my own team that I am not one with them and no matter how much leeway/ kinship/understanding/transparency I give them it will be for naught. I felt alone with no place to go. And for the first time in a long time, there is no celebratory feeling that I want to share my “blessings.” I did not plan to give them any Christmas gifts or tokens like I used to do because nothing comes back tangible or intangible. I did not participate in the planning of the party. I just looked forward to my leaves because I need time to re-evaluate.

I am socially awkward. I don’t do well with people but since I became part of this industry I am in, I have learned to deal with my awkwardness. I tried to believe again in the goodness of people so I gave them a chance, helped them, guided and such. Unfortunately, I have been bitten more than rewarded. So I let go of the people who thought they can use me. One still does not grasp why I refused to talk to her. She wanted me to be like everybody else and then has the audacity to ignore me while she has all the time in the world to eat, talk, visit her other friends. Instead of allowing the pseudo-friendship to continue I cut the cord. I also had enough of someone else who proved to be such a hypocrite. I mean I am already focused on what I want for my team and we are doing pretty well, not consistently but getting there to be sidetracked by petty things.

These things have drained me because after all the things I done, the thanks I got was multiple stabs on the back. I needed to regroup and maybe a fresh start if God willing in another LOB will do the trick. A new team, new group, new management – these may just be what I need to look forward to 2017.

2016 was not a tumultuous as 2015 but the emotional pain was big time. I was bombarded left and right, the ones who I thought would support me the most have hurt me the most. Their words and actions actually linger. A bit forgiven but not forgotten because you cannot do anything about family.

Thus I look forward to a good year. Nothing fancy, nothing extraordinary just a good year for my whole being and a chance to finally be rewarded for an honest to goodness hard work.

Cheers to 2017!

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