Posts Tagged ‘trust’

I am a person who does not ask much from people because¬† I have never been a fan so it takes a lot from me to just trust. So if there’s an iota of humanity, regardless of the stage in the relationship I impart something akin to trust. As the days turn to weeks, months then years that bit grows into a full grown trust. A trust that you will respect what I own as I would yours. I know we are not bosom buddies nor are we related but having been in the same circle day in and out does account for some sort of kinship. A sort of respect to our respective properties. Just like how you keep the secrets of others, you do not divulge no matter how hard I pry so shall you guard what should have been for my eyes only with the same tenacity. In this, I know I already erred in my judgment of you.

You were the least that I expect to hurt me this way. To breach the code of trust between us was already bad but what made it hurt even more was the audacity that you made what is mine, shared to someone else. I agree you feel bad about what you learned still that did not entitle you to cross the boundaries between us. I have never been so utterly disappointed. You have failed me. You who I thought was true failed me. I had to put up with many of your complaints and sometimes childishness, I never got angry even when you became too intolerable. But with this stunt you pulled, I am angry, really angry. I do not know what pushed you to do it, even more why you felt the need to forward it to you and subsequently share it to someone else…I am at a loss for words seeing your utter nonchalance and disrespect.

Indeed, the line has been crossed and there is no going back. Did you think I will not find out? Or you felt that I would not mind? Here is where you erred. You chose to do this and cast aside my faith in you. Funny how after you did what you did, you felt wronged about the entire situation yet not feel guilty about hurting another. I hope you found some sense of triumph bickering over the nickles and dimes because from here on in, I do not think I can trust you any longer…

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I may not be lucky in terms of finding love but so far my luck is good when it comes to finding friends. At my current work, it is very tricky to know who your true friends are and who are not. Usually they do not take the time to know you, they just judge or outright accuse you of being a cheater or of questionable character. I do not hobnob with them anymore nor do I even try to make them hear me. I already got the “here we go again, has this not ended yet?” kind of retort. Of course they have their own problems but they expect you to hear them out, which does not altogether mean they should hear you out. Another is the only rather dense type whose intelligence is always out the window yet would contradict you at every turn. She means well but her mindless explanation to a non-issue is baffling to the point of wanting to bash her head to the wall just so she would stop yakking.

So I am glad that during high school I managed to make friends who are for keeps. But during my adult stage, I am pretty happy to have met and found the rare gems in Options.  Aldwin was my former Managing Editor, who turned out to be such a talented and generous friend. He makes it a point to be there for his needy friends and gives nonstop to his family. But for me, he is my rock who listens to my pain and then makes me laugh afterwards. He has his own pain and yet takes the time to be console a friend. Despite knowing what my misdeeds were, he never judged nor preached. He just smile his toothy smile and allow me to find the humor in things however serious the actual situation is.

Fids was our former bookkeeper. She and I are both Taurus but despite this we are very different. She is intelligent but not in love and she can be easily swayed. She does not know what career path to follow. But what she lacks in maturity, she more than makes up by standing up for you and fighting with you even if you are the one at fault. She does not leave you behind.

Meeko, the youngest in the group and also the only one married, is the prettiest spitfire. She bakes the yummiest brownies and she can foretell your future. But do not let her age fool you. She is the very protective mother of the group. She hits on the one giving you a hard time and she comes to your defense even when you do not ask for it. She fights your fight and backs you up.

These three despite my flaws and imperfections never faltered in their faith on me. They listen quietly when I need to talk and give me counsel when and only if I ask it. They never judge nor think ill of me and they always look after me even when I am safely home. I feel safe when I am with them. I can be myself and they would respect me for that. I would bitch and they would find humor in it. I would cry and they would offer their shoulders for me to cry on. They are an intelligent bunch who will know when I am making something up yet cheer me on if I am on the right path. They are always there when I need them and despite the distance, a text or a call would suffice and we know we are still connected. This is the type of friendship that do not ask for anything in exchange, never doubt but remain believing.

I am not a sociable person but if I say you have a friend in me, it means no matter what I will be there for you. But if you lose me, there is no second chance. There is no gaining back the trust. That is why the ones I know who are for keeps I remain grateful to God to have been given the chance to have met them.